Blog #14 Trying to Make Sense of Things: Why does God Allow Suffering?

I haven’t written a blog in a long time, and there is a reason for that. There hasn’t been anything exciting happening in a long time. I contemplated writing a blog a few months ago, but I have already written depressing blogs about going through injuries, and I was hesitant to make another one of those and appear to make it look like I’m trying to make people feel sorry for me.  That is obviously not my intention, but I do think that since I started this blog a few years ago, I should continue with it, even when I don’t have anything relevant to write about regarding my racing and training.

 I haven’t had that feeling of enjoyment of being able to run without any significant injury issues since last June. I also had to deal with a breakup with my girlfriend in November. One positive thing is that I finished my Master’s last semester, but now I am finding it difficult to figure out where God wants me next. I also had to make a tough decision to no longer be a member of Speed River, at least for this year. Although I really enjoyed being part of the group, the fact that I am both injured and finished my Master’s and basically unemployed makes it hard to justify staying in Guelph long term. My original plan was to continue training while doing some part time tutoring to pay the rent and food. Well...right now I am injured, and I’m not getting too much tutoring business. I’ll go insane if I restrict myself to staying in Guelph and waiting to be healthy enough to do workouts again. I don’t know how much longer I’ll have to wait until I can run with joy and run at the competitive level that is necessary for me to really benefit from being part of such a strong training group. I have the best opportunity to achieve my running goals here and I can’t pursue them. It’s BEYOND frustrating! I don’t want to stay in Guelph if there is such a high risk that it will be a long time before I am healthy enough to train with the top distance running unit in Canada. I am better off pursuing something else and taking the time I need to fully recover, without any pressure to start training with Speed River. If I put that pressure on myself to get back training with the group, I know myself enough to know that I am more likely to try to run through pain that I shouldn’t.

As far as the details of my running injuries, from the start of the marathon build up in July, I was having issues with my groin. By September the pain was bad enough that running the marathon was no longer plausible, and I figured all I would need was a few weeks rest to heal things up. I was wrong there! After nearly two months of cross training, physiotherapy, and not getting any better, it was determined that one of my legs was 1.8cm longer than the other. This is significant enough that over time, the compensations that my body makes for this discrepancy became too much, which led to the strain on my groin muscles. I got orthotics to fix the problem, as well as some treatment to relieve the tension in my muscles. This allowed me to build up mileage for about 5 weeks. Although I wasn’t feeling 100% healthy, I was feeling healthy enough to at least attempt a build up to run Around the Bay again.  In early February, I experienced pain in my back which after a week of not going away and getting worse, I was forced to stop running entirely once again. So I wont be running Around the Bay, and I won’t make any plans to run competitively again until my body lets me.

 I often mutter to myself why would God lead me to Guelph only to break my heart...in two different places? I don’t know a definite answer to that question, but I think there are three most likely reasons of why disappointments like this happen. God is testing me, God is disciplining me, God is leading me somewhere else. A fourth reason I  can think of is simply that we live in an imperfect world, we are all going to have to perservere through certain trials regardless of whether it is our fault or not. The true reason may very well be a combination of all these things...I don’t claim to be wise enough to know, it is very hard for me to understand.

God could be testing me like he did in the book of Job.  For those unfamiliar with the story, the book begins with God having a discussion with Satan about a righteous man named Job. Satan argues that the only reason Job is righteous is because he has been blessed so greatly. If those blessings were destroyed, Satan predicted that Job would curse God. So God allowed Satan to take away his possessions, family, and health. The rest of the book is filled with dialogue between Job and his ‘friends’ who try to explain that God is punishing Job for something. Not until the last few chapters does God finally speak to Job, and the book ends with Job receiving even more than he had before. Is it possible that Satan read my blog last June when everything was going great and had a similar discussion with God? I’t might be. If anything, the book of Job serves as an important reminder to trust God and worship him even in the tough times. I believe it is okay to ask questions to God and vent our frustrations in prayer and still be considered righteous. After all, Job did these things, and he was still considered righteous. One example of Job’s questions that I can relate to is in Job 13:23-25. In these verses, he asks God to show him if there is anything he has done wrong. Why would a loving God punish someone without giving an explanation for the punishment? I have asked God that too.

 I prayed a few months ago that if there is any area in particular that God wants to see significant change in me that he reveal it to me.  Sometimes this is the case, and it might be that God is allowing hardship in order to reduce a negative quality or increase a positive one. After all, the bible does say the God disciplines those that he loves.  It says this shortly after the running the race analogy in Hebrews 12. I do feel as if the Lord did show me something back in January that needed work. Looking back at the year of 2013, I was fortunate enough to have some support in terms of new balance shoes, gear, and a certain number of physio treatments. Not having to pay for those things was a huge blessing, but it made me susceptible to a  selfish and entitled attitude. I was seen as a young, up and coming runner who had some success in road races. My best race in 2012 was a 30k in 1:35, and that is an equivalent performance similar to others in the group with the same support level as me, to the best of my knowledge. Come to think of it, I was probably the least accomplished runner that received support, but a year of training with the top distance group in Canada should produce a breakthrough year, and hopefully a strong marathon debut. The first half of the year went well, but the second half was filled with injury.  I realized that my support would probably be reduced for this year, not just because of my injury, but because a lot of athletes had breakthrough years, and they are much more deserving of support than me.  But ultimately that is a decision left up to the coaches of Speed River, so I expected them to let me know. This year they changed the tier/support system, so they had a meeting to discuss these changes in January. The meeting left me with a lot of questions unanswered. I was still unsure if I would receive any type of support, or if I would be completely on my own for running expenses(shoes and physio are the big two) in addition to the club membership fee. I was extremely grateful for that support in 2013, but if I would no longer be receiving it, that is a big change, and it would be tough for me to rationalize committing to stay in Guelph, now that I graduated and trying to figure out what to do next. I also think it is wisest to return to race shape at my own pace coming back from a lengthly injury. It is only when I am healthy that I can benefit from being part of a strong training group like Speed River. Is it possible that my membership fee can be pro-rated? Can they take a portion of my prize money instead? Those questions seemed logical to me, so I decided to meet with Dave Scott Thomas to address these questions. Unfortunately, this was interpreted by Chris Moulton and Dave as I am just trying to use Speed River and see how much I can get out of the group. So Dave sat me down with Chris, and it was suggested that if I am making my decision whether to stay with Speed River based on whether or not I receive support, I’m in it for the wrong reasons, and I should get out. Now, obviously, I don’t run because I want to get material possessions. That would be ridiculous! If I was motivated by those things, I wouldn’t waste time running 100+ mile weeks, I can guarantee you that. It is true though, that I am an extremely frugal person and I do like to calculate those factors. What I did take away from what they said is that I need to work on being less of a self centered person...only concerned about take, take, take, without giving back anything in return. Also, although I thank God for his blessings, it’s also important to making an intentional effort to show my thankfulness to people that God has used to bless me. After this meeting with the coaches, I was deeply troubled the most because if I claim to be a Christian and write blogs about it, and I’m interpreted by coaches as selfish and ungrateful, I am being a terrible witness, and I’m being a phony Christian. That is a serious issue. Dave does know me enough to understand that because of my mathematical mind, I make decisions based on reason and calculations, but he showed concern that I didn’t seem to put value on coaching and being part of the Speed River community. In reality, those things are important to me. Speed River is an awesome group. I have gotten to know some athletes, many whom have performed on the world stage, and they are also great personalities and humble about their accomplishments as well. I wish I could have gotten to know these people and train with them more, but injuries have prevented that. It has frustrated me incredibly that I couldn’t take advantage of such an awesome opportunity. I could try to stay here in Guelph and wait patiently for my injury to heal, and take on a part time job to pay the bills, even if it is something mundane and not in my field. I have considered that. There are also negative emotions that also play a roll in my decision.  There is negative emotional effect of losing support and not being considered a tiered athlete anymore. There is also a loss of passion that comes with being injured for so long. I’m in a tough situation, and to say that I was making a decision purely based on material support is a bit unfair, although I can understand where Dave and Chris are coming from as coaches of Speed River, and I can learn from the situation. Regardless of whether I will be part of Speed River in the future, the more important matter is the matter of my heart, and I have asked God to work in my heart show me ways to be less focused on my self and to focus more on  showing gratitude to those who help me and service to those who could use my help. I’m not very good at being able to see these things, so I hope God will show me how to improve in this.

Could all these unfortunate events be God’s way of telling me that Guelph is not where he wants me to be at least for the next year or two? Does he have something better in store for me? This is another possible explanation. I recently graduated with my Master’s, and I’m at a point where I’m trying to figure out what to do next. I hoped to find a sessional teaching position for an introductory statistics or math class, but those positions are hard to get. I don’t think research is for me, so I don’t want to start a PhD, but I do want to teach. I recently applied to teacher’s college, and since Guelph doesn’t have teacher’s college, I’d have to move elsewhere. Western and Windsor were still accepting applications when I decided this, so those are the two schools that I applied for. I know teaching jobs are tough to get right now, but they are switching the program to 2 years next year, so if I get in, I would only have to do 1 year.  So it would be a huge plus to get in this year rather than next year. Maybe God is leading me down that path instead. It’s tough to know what will happen though, and I have to be open to many possibilities. I just hope something works out for me, so I have something to keep me from insanity when I’m not able to run.

The other explanation is to just say that this world isn’t perfect, and there is going to be points in everyone’s life where multiple things go wrong or uncertain all at once. It’s important to be patient and persevere through these times, and hopefully come out a stronger person. Any competitive runner will experience injury troubles at certain points in their career, and if you don’t, I think I can speak for a lot of runners when I say that I envy you. It stinks that there are other uncertainties going on at the same time for me, but its a possibility that I have to be prepared for.

I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that for writing this entry. I was really hesitant to write this post for the reason of coming across that way. But I think it is important that I let people know what is going on in my life who want to know and might’ve wondered what the heck happened to that Around the Bay winner from last year. I also think its important to share our experiences, and it may be that someone else is going through a similar struggle and may be encouraged that they are not alone. Who knows? I hope that what I write might benefit somebody. It would be easy for me to blame God for bringing me to Guelph and allowing brief success but only to bring me down. But then I would forget all the blessings he has and continues to show me. Family and friends are a big one that is easy to take for granted. Also I don’t have student debt because of the scholarships I received at Campbell and the GTA/GRA funding I received at Guelph.  (It also helps that I’m really frugal !) That’s a burden that a lot of people in my situation might also have on their back, but for me I don’t have that. So if I look at what to be thankful for rather than what to complain about, that can help too. Through everything I trust that God is in control, and that despite my shortcomings, he will provide for me, and show me where I can go next to best serve him. 

Blog #13 Difficult decision

I made a difficult decision earlier this week, that is I will no longer be running Toronto Waterfront Marathon this fall. From the start of the build up, I had some issues with my right hip flexor which I figured I could run through. A bit later I started getting pain above my knee, which I later found out after physiotherapy that I was altering my stride, although barely noticeable, and it put a lot of stress on my lower quads which lead to the pain above the right knee. I tried to run through it for a while, as it was manageable for the most part during runs, but really hurt afterwards. It started to become evident that the issues I've been dealing with were impeding my training. I wasn't able to train the way I wanted to, and if I tried to get over 160km a week things started to get worse and I had to go to the elliptical for a few days. My paces in workouts were nothing spectacular either. I prayed that God would make it clear whether or not I should try to run through the injuries and do the marathon or play it safe and call it quits, get healthy, and focus on a spring marathon. After running the slowest 10k and half marathon of my post collegiate career, it was pretty clear evidence what I should do. Not the answer I wanted, but pretty clear evidence.

It is difficult for me, as I'm not the type of person to quit easily once I set my mind on some kind of goal or pursuit. The problem with that mindset is that sometimes it is logically of your best interest to quit. It could even be that continuing on your pursuit could have devastating consequences. For example, if that pursuit is a girl you could end up with a restraining order (not speaking from personal experience)...or in my case if it is trying to run through an injury, I could end up more seriously hurt which would have worse consequences down the road. I have to keep in mind that my realistic goal over the next few years is a sub 2:15 that would qualify me for the 2015 world championships. If my training isn't pointing to anything close to that, then there is no point risking further injury. It is kind of like a hypothesis test with this decision, and I'm a math/stat guy so that's just how I think. My null hypothesis is that I will run the marathon, and I will need significant evidence to overturn that in favor of the alternative, drop out of the marathon. In statistical hypothesis testing, you come up with a p-value between 0 and 1, and the lower that value is the stronger the evidence is against your null hypothesis. Before running the test you usually pick a value in which you will reject the null hypothesis if the p-value turns out to be lower than that value. It's important to pick an appropriate value for each situation. Too high and you are a coward or a quitter. Too low...and you might be accused of being a stalker if the null hypothesis is a girl will go out with you (i.e. there may still be a 0.0001% chance she likes you, but you better move on to the next one), or in my case, I could be at risk of a chronic or more severe injury if I continue. Not to mention running through pain really sucks, it really takes the joy out of training. So I'm running without joy, I'm not racing well, and I don't want to make things worse. Definitely enough evidence to reject the null hypothesis. It is a tough decision, but I am at peace with it because I feel it is the logical decision to make. I want to head into my first marathon feeling confident and in top shape, and its becoming unlikely with the way I'm feeling now that i'll be able to achieve that in such short time. Time to heal up physically and take a mental break. I plan to finish up my master's this fall, and I'm involved with the Athletes in Action group at Guelph, so at least I have something productive to do to keep my sanity while I'm not running.

Lord willing I will get my chance to make a marathon debut in the spring. And I say Lord willing, because it is important to recognize that nothing is guaranteed, as it says in James 4 not to be over confident in your own plans but to recognize that ultimately the Lord is in control. It's still wise to make plans, but it must be recognized that many things can happen outside of your control that could hinder those plans.

Blog #12 End of season reflection, first half of 2013

So I did the last race of my spring season this weekend, a half marathon in Vancouver! It was a nice trip, and Canada Running Series was nice enough to provide travel and accommodations to elites, so that was pretty sweet. With Reid having an unfortunate biking accident a few weeks ago, I would be the lone Speed River guy in the race. The main competitors would be Rob Watson who turned 30 on race day, Kip Kangogo who was racing for the first time as a father, and two other Kenyan runners who I never raced before. My race strategy was to feel out the pace for about 5k, then make a conscious decision whether to keep with the leaders, or hold back if the pace seems unsustainable. That way I could conserve a bit on the down hill with the hopes of catching guys who fall off from the leaders later on in the hilly portion of the race. 5k went by in 15:10, which is fairly quick for me. I felt that trying to keep with the leaders during the downhill portion from 6k-10k would not be advantageous for me, and that I would be better off coasting the downhill so I would feel in control in the more critical last 10k of the race that features a few tough hills. So even though there is 4 prize money spots and 5 of us in the lead pack at 5k, I felt as if my best bet is to let the pack of 4 go, most of whom have significantly better personal bests than me. At the bottom of the hill at 10k, I was on my own, nearly 30 seconds from the leaders. It is a bit of a challenge running on your own, but I did get some help, as one of the runners from the lead pack was fading, so I could use him as a target to chase down, which I did at about 16k. I finished 4th in 1:05:25, which I felt was a decent result to end the spring season. I was hoping for sub 1:05, but that's just a number I through out there, and I was close enough.

Now that I am finished with the first half of my 2013 racing season, its time to recover, reflect, relax for a week or two, then move on to my first marathon build up for the fall! I am excited about both my time off and the marathon. It's important physically and mentally to take a break from training, and its always nice when you do that by choice after a race you've been focusing on rather than being forced out by injury shortly before the race you were focusing for. Looking back at times where I took time off after a season not due to injury, usually I would make improvements during the next season. For example, the last time I was able to do this in the winter of 2011, I had a breakthrough result in the ATB 30k in March.

Hopefully, this fall, I'll have a breakthrough result in the marathon. I'm still a virgin to that, and all though you could consider a 30k 'third base', I still haven't experienced going 'all the way' before, so I have a mixture of nervousness and excitement about this new venture, and I'm not completely sure what to expect. From what I've been told it'll hurt a little but the feeling afterwards is definitely quite something. Yes...I am still talking about marathons . If you were thinking I was talking about my actual virginity, I do plan to wait until marriage, but that is not an important topic for today.

But anyways, due to my lack of experience in the marathon, I could do some simple mathematical analysis of people I race often who run marathons to predict what kind of time is reasonable to shoot for while limiting the risk of bonking really bad late in the race. For example, Watson beat me by about 1 minute in the Vancouver half marathon this weekend, and he's a 2:13 guy, so 2:15 sounds realistic. If I do the same analysis with the times Reid and Eric ran on that course last year, it predicts me to run around a 2:15 also. Although subject to change based on how my training goes this summer, it seems like a reasonable upper bound for a 95% prediction interval of what I might run for my debut would be in the 2:15 range. Of course, from what I've seen, a lot can go wrong in the marathon, so the times that an individual might run are probably not as normally distributed as the shorter races. The distribution is probably skewed, but that is irrelevant in my attempt to get a result somewhere in the top of my bracket of potential, which I believe from the information I have now is around the 2:15 range. So my tentative goal is to break 2:15.

Based on where I was a year or so at this time, I know it is important to thank God for the blessings he has given me so far this year. It's always a blessing in this sport when you can go through a season without any major injury troubles. It's natural to cry out to God for help during times of trouble, but its equally important to thank God when things are going well. A lot of times, the same people who cry out to God during times of trouble often forget to thank him when things go well, but rather attribute success to themselves. I don't want to do that. You can't take anything for granted in running and in life in general. I know very well there's a fine line between having a great season and getting injured. This is a sport where it is clear you need to rely on God's grace and have faith that things will come together in His timing. I'm calling the first half of 2013 a success, and not just because of running. I also have a girlfriend now, believe it or not! And she's not imaginary! Her name is Anne. She's doing her master's degree, and this is her first year in Guelph too. She does triple jump. We met at this cool group on campus called Athletes in Action,  a group that meets once a week to have fellowship and occasionally talk about what it means to integrate faith and sport. She's second generation Asian, and in that culture, it's considered respectful if a guest eats a lot... so I had no problem impressing her parents when I came over to visit last weekend!

Now its time to relax, and look forward to what God has in store for me next!

Blog #11 BolderBoulder10k

As I'm  returning from the BolderBoulder 10k International team challenge, and I'm stuck in LaGuardia for the night due to weather problems, I think I will use this spare time to blog about and reflect about my trip. The International team challenge was 10 teams from 7 different countries, with the U.S. also having a Colorado team and 2 military teams. Each team consisted of 3 members. Our team definitely had a tough task ahead of us, but I guess the nice thing about being part of a smaller country with not very much depth in road racing is that young runners like me who have personal bests 1-2 minutes slower than many of the runners from other countries have the opportunity to run at an event like this and get some experience in a world class international field. I was looking forward to the trip and traveling to a place I've never been before, but I knew that I would need a heck of a race to just finish out of the bottom third of the field. Making things even more difficult was that we were running at over 5000ft, which is high enough to have a significant effect on your performance, and I don't think too many other runners besides my two other teammates Adam Hortian and Kevin Friesen came straight from sea level. I though maybe the UK team would have the same problem, but it turns out that all three of them were training at altitude, and thus much better acclimatized than us. Not to mention their team consisted of guys with track pb's of 13:24 5k sub 28 10k, and 28:30 10k (plus national cross country champion). And they ended up being third last place team! So at the start of the race, part of me was nervous about how much faster most of these runners were than me, but part of me said "this is a world class field, lets see how long you can hold on to the pack, and forget about that altitude thing...its probably like 90% mental anyways right?" I lasted about 3k with the lead pack. The next few km I was running with a few others who had fallen from the lead pack, including a guy from Peru whose name was John Lennon! The last half of the race was when I was really starting to feel the combination of altitude, heat, and the fact that I probably went out too hard considering those two things. Luckily it was  downhill/flat from 6.5k to 9k, but the last mile was uphill. Last mile 5:33...ouch! Looking back at the results there was a few guys from the Air Force team that took it out much more conservatively and blew by me in the second half of the race, so maybe if I ran with them I would have run a bit faster, but I am not too regretful for going out the pace I did. Sometimes you just gotta go for it! Despite finishing 4th to last, beating only one guy that wasn't my teammate, I can take some positives from the experience and have confidence going into my next big race in Vancouver. For instance, even many of the runners 10-40 seconds ahead of me were 28:20-29:20 10k track runners and 1:03-1:04 half marathoners. It's hard to judge what my performance is equivalent to on sea level, but if I did a statistical analysis on how far ahead of all the runners were and what their personal bests are, I would probably come up with a confidence interval for my predicted time at sea level that is consistent with what I have done on the roads recently. I talked to the one guy not on our team that was behind me, and he came straight from sea level as well, so we weren't the only ones. It turns out he also is shooting for a sub 1:05 half in the near future. I'm looking forward to running a half marathon at sea level in 4 weeks from now, since I know I'm in shape crush my current PB of 1:06 (or a bit under 1:06 if you count my estimated 21.1 split in my 30k). I looked at the elite start list, and it looks to be a solid front pack of 4 for me to try to hang on to. Coolsaet, Kangogo, Watson, and 2012 CIS cross country champion Kelly Wiebe are all confirmed, and all will be tough to beat. So although I will be in tough to finish 'in the money', the race looks to provide a great opportunity to run a PB.

So, overall I will consider this weekend a success, except for being stuck at the airport right now. It was a good time, an opportunity to travel and see a new place, and considering the circumstances, my race wasn't that bad, despite feeling really rough that last half of the race. Different races serve different purposes. Sometimes you race to run a fast or a personal best. Sometimes you race to go for the win. This race was definitely neither. For me, what I wanted to get out of this race was to see how I react to adverse conditions, and try to be competitive against better runners than me despite those conditions. For a future marathoner like myself, dealing with adversity is going to be important. I think I'm fairly good at running in less than ideal conditions compared to other competitors, but perhaps if I had even a few weeks of altitude training prior to this race, I may have beaten some great runners. If I do it another year I'll be sure to do some altitude training leading up to this race!

Blog #10 Spring Races

Time to blog again. I ran a few races in the past few weeks, and I also have my next two major races planned out. 3 weeks ago was Toronto Yonge Street 10k. This was the race where I was injured in last year after running a pretty strong race. Thankfully I didn't suffer the same fate this year. The elite field was very similar to last year, the main difference was Eric Gillis instead of Reid Coolsaet. I knew he and Kip Kangogo would be tough to beat, so I made it my goal to be top 3. I almost did, finishing a few seconds behind Sami Jibril, winner of the Harry Spring run off a few weeks earlier. I was okay with that result. Interestingly, in my last 3 road races that I also ran last year, I was a few seconds off my time from last year, but despite that I finished exactly one place higher in each of those races. Of course I'd rather be running faster than last year, but it's nice to get a little more prize money. I'm not too worried about the hardly statistically significant slower times. I feel as though my training is going well. Last week I decided to run a track 10k in London. It turned out to be more of a tough tempo run though. I think it was a combination of a high mileage week and the Speed River speedy manure fundraiser involving some manual labour and being out in the sun the previous two days that wasn't exactly the best preparation for a race. So I wasn't exactly peaking for it, but I would've liked to look a bit more competitive than I was. I felt flat within the first few km's of the race, and struggled to just barely get under 31 minutes. (2012 ATB first 30k was 30:45 to put that into some perspective) I won't worry too much though. Having one bad race in between some solid consistent racing and workouts doesn't concern me too much. I still have confidence heading into my next races.

I'm kind of excited because I'm going to travel a bit for my next 2 races. The last week of May, I will be racing  Bolder Boulder 10k in Colorado. Canada is sending a team of 3 guys and 3 girls. This is the race I had to drop out of last year because of injury, so I really wanted to do this race this year. It seems like a great race, and since its over 5000 ft altitude, times are irrelevant. I kind of like the idea of not worrying about a PB, but just going out there and racing. I plan to convince my self that altitude doesn't affect me as much as it does for most people, and I should place pretty well. I was considering with my coach about the possibility of running Ottawa marathon, but after thinking about it for quite a while, and praying about it, I decided that it would be best to wait until the fall for a marathon, and do a proper build up for it over the summer. This Colorado race will be a valuable experience for me to race against some international competition. After Boulder, I'll have 4 weeks until my next race in Vancouver, where I'll be running a half marathon. Then I'll probably take a down week or two, and start building up for a marathon debut, which will likely be Toronto Waterfront Marathon. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me the rest of the year, and thankful that I am injury free. It's been a fairly decent spring so far. Not to mention, the Leafs made the playoffs! Last time that happened I don't think I hit puberty yet!

Blog #9 Around the Bay 30k 2013

Well...yesterday was one of the most memorable of my running career so far, and definitely my biggest win! God is good! This was an important race, and my first in 3 months, so it has definitely been something that I have been keying on, and praying for a good result. I try not to put too much unneeded pressure on myself heading into a race, but for a few reasons, I was really praying for a good result in this one. Firstly it's the first race of the spring, and I find that the first race of the season really sets the tone for the next couple of races, especially for confidence. Secondly, I have been blessed this year with some support of shoes, gear, and powerbar products, as well as other benefits, thanks to Speed River and New Balance, so I really want to make it show that I am worth that investment. Nevertheless, I made an effort to not put too much pressure on myself, after all, God is in control, and he has a reason for providing me with the opportunity to be here in Guelph and train with Speed River. I have to constantly remind myself to trust in God regardless of my results. Also, I have the prayer support of my family as well as AIA (Athletes in Action), a Christian athletes group on campus that I have been involved with this semester. I am very thankful for that support

Now to get on with how the race played out. I was expecting a slower pace than last year, since it didn't look like there was any clear favorite in the race who was going to try to push the pace and drop everyone from the gun. I was right on that assumption, and actually ended up leading or co-leading most of the first half of the race. I felt relatively decent and in control for the first 20k, and my 5k splits slowed down at a linear rate from approximately 15:30 to 16:00. (This linear regression is much preferred compared to an exponential or quadratic rate of slow down which sometimes happens) I made occasional glances behind me once we passed the half way mark, and it appeared as if there was a pack of about 5 of us still. Even though the money is not the main reason why I run, it is still always refreshing when there is x prize money spots and x or fewer people in the lead pack, and naturally, it's a bit nerve racking when there are x money spots and x+1 in the lead pack. But anyways, at 20k, I was feeling okay, but I was definitely feeling sore in my calves. They were feeling a bit tight before the race, so this was not surprising. I'm pretty sure I heard one of the Kenyan runners mention something about 'mzungu', which I remember in Reid Coolsaet's blog about his trip to Kenya means 'white guy'. You got to do something to distract yourself from the pain, so I spent the next few km trying to think what it is they were saying. 'Let's drop the white guy'? 'Hey look, another white guy'? Maybe. (Lionel Sanders had made a move to the front at around this point) The next 5k was definitely slowest portion of the race though. (~16:30) This was probably done more out of precaution than necessity, since there's a pretty decent hill of about 500m length around the 26k mark. I was glad nobody tried to push the pace during this 20-26k stretch, because I sure didn't want to. The nice thing about the uphill is there is a decent downhill stretch going into it, so it allows your legs to recover a bit. I tried to take a bit of a lead going up the hill, and at this point, I'm quite sure it was just between me and Josephat Ongeri, my most familiar road racing opponent since hitting the road racing scene in 2011. After the hill is a relieving feeling, but I've still got to remember, there's still 3.5k left! I could here my coach Dave Scott Thomas encouraging me on the home stretch, and I could here Josephat making a pretty good effort to catch me. With about 2k left, Josephat made his move and put a bit of a gap on me. At one point, it looked as if I might have to settle for 2nd, but I told my self to stay mentally tough and close the last km with all that I had left regardless of what he did. As we approached Copps Coliseum, I saw he looked fatigued, so it was my time to make a move without looking back. Heading into the stadium I heard someone say I had a 20m lead, At this point I was about 90% sure of the win, and then into the stadium with a roaring crowd and my parents there at this finish was definitely an awesome experience! It's always exciting when a long race like that comes down to the final km! Both this year's and last year's Around the Bay road races were extremely memorable for me. Last year's time was actually 40 seconds faster, but this year being able to win the race was an even huger boost. I had a feeling if I could put up a performance similar to what I did last year, there was a decent probability of winning. Thank God he gave me the ability to run a similar performance! After all, a few months ago I was dealing with some foot pain and was unsure if I would be able to compete in March yet. Thankfully I was able to get in shape pretty fast. Another example of God's provision! There's something special about winning Around the Bay and being part of its history, since it's the oldest road race in North America. It's such an awesome and unique event. 

A strong race for, Lanni Marchant who won the women's race in record time, that was an impressive performance! Also some solid results in World Cross Country championships in Poland, Mohammed Ahmed, who I trained with back in high school, leading the way for Canada in 22nd place.

Toronto Yonge Street 10k is what I plan to race next, and that's in 4 weeks. This week will be mostly recovery/easy mileage, and then hopefully I'll continue with some good training in the next few weeks after that, and hopefully have a solid injury free race in that downhill race. I would like to get in a half marathon at one point after that, and possibly a 10k on the track, but I haven't really committed to anything past TSY10k yet. A marathon debut in the fall is a possibility if things go well.

Blog #8 January injury struggles, visit to Campbell, and getting ready for spring races

It's been a while since I have blogged, and well...that's because its been a while since I've raced, and not too much exciting has happened since then. In my last post, I mentioned how I recently ran boxing day 10 miler, but was feeling a bit sore and needed to take a few days off. It turned out being a few weeks, as I had a strange pain on the top of my foot that wouldn't go away. When I thought it was healed, I started running again, but after a few days, the pain started to creep back again, so I had to go back to the elliptical. Then a few days it would get better, so I started running again, but then the after a few days of running, the same pain again! Very frustrating. I was getting very anxious to get some mileage and quality training in, since it was late January, and only two months until Around the Bay, which I really wanted to do again At that time, it was looking like I would need to see a quick improvement in my foot really soon if that was going to happen. I prayed about it, asking for healing if it is His will, and wisdom and the right perspective if I were to go through yet another setback. It was around that time when my physiotherapist suggested I get some orthotics to put in between my toes in order to help me toe off properly. Thank God, they seemed to make a big difference! In the next few weeks I was able to build up my mileage from 60-80-90-100, and started to get some tempo workouts in. It's kind of funny, even a mathematically minded runner like me will run past my house for a quick out and back at the end of my long run with the erroneous  belief that 100 mile week is SO much better than a 99 mile week.

But anyways, after the 100 mile week, I was 5 weeks away from the 30k, and heading to North Carolina since we had the week off for reading week. My 3 reasons for going there in no particular order:
1) I still have former teammates that I'm pretty good friends with back in Campbell University, who are still on the team now.
2) I have a flight voucher from last altitude camp trip because I gave up my seat on an overnight flight for a day flight the next day. Got to sleep in a free hotel, and got meal money along with the voucher instead of having to try to sleep on the plane that night! What a deal! Anyways, that voucher expires in the summer, so I might as well use it now
3) I'm sick of this weather. It's not that I hate the cold. I'm known for under dressing in cold weather, and cold weather (to a certain extent) doesn't bother me that much.  What I hate is trying to run on snow and ice. It makes it difficult to get quality training in, and increases the risk of injury. Last winter was unusually mild, but this winter I missed the NC weather a bit more. It was nice to get away for that for a week. It was even shirts off weather for my long run! Very nice!

Anyways, the trip there was a nice relaxing break. A bit nostalgic, but I'm a bit of a nostalgic person, so it's all right. I even got to go as a volunteer at their Big South Conference meet that weekend. It turns out some freshman guy who was signed up to volunteer decided to bail out a few days before the trip. Lucky me! I got to take his place! and his hotel room! and his meal money! I felt like I was on the team again! I definitely enjoyed watching some of my former teammates compete. Their new coach has them running really well. It was nice seeing people I hadn't seen in a while. It could be the last time I visit down there, but who knows.

So now I have three weeks until the 30k, and I also plan on doing Yonge Street 10k which is 4 weeks after ATB. (hopefully without messing my back like last year) It's time to start getting mentally prepared for that 30k, as Lord willing I won't have any major injury issues in the next few weeks and I will be able to approach the start line with confidence like last year. I'm not going to put any pressure on myself to duplicate or improve on last year's performance, all though that would be really nice if I could. I haven't really looked at what the competition will be like this year, but I've decided not to worry about that until race day. I should be able to run with the front pack, unless somebody goes out really aggressively, in which case it may be wise to drop back a bit. But whatever the weather, and whatever the competition, I'll trust the Lord to give me strength and wisdom that I need.